Date Your Spouse

It’s just another Friday night after a long work week and adult responsibilities. I relish Friday nights as it is the perfect time to forget all the worries and unfinished items from the week. So, I crack open a bottle of wine and unwind with my two favorite guys, Jason and Sully. I look forward to these moments of peace and quiet and prepare to settle in for my evening glued to the couch. But a sudden and perplexing thought hits my mind, have we become that old, boring couple where Fridays are reduced to blah and the weekend holds no foreseen excitement? Oh goodness, this can’t be us.

Fridays used to hold so much promise for a young couple just beginning to date. I looked forward to Fridays, but mostly because it was my chance to see Jason and enjoy great conversation over a glass of wine. Okay, so the wine thing has never changed. As I reflect back on the adventures of our youth, I begin to think we need to bring the dating back in our relationship. Look forward to date night, something new, special in its own way but mostly just enjoying the company of one another.

So, I enlist my husband in a game of creative thinking with only one goal – how to date your spouse. Here is a quick list of a few ways we came up with to date your spouse and bring the giddiness back to the relationship.

The Element of Surprise

Oh, I love surprises. I still remember the time Jason woke me up one Sunday morning after a long week and drove us to Fredericksburg for wine tasting and shopping. It was so romantic. It was so FUN!

Any surprise, small or grand, can bring a twinkle back in your eyes because your spouse went out of their way to plan a special date for you! For some of us, the smallest gesture, like picking up a piece of cake at the store because it was your wife’s favorite flavor, can be the most special. Whatever the surprise is, make sure to plan it knowing your spouse’s likes/dislikes. Nothing ruins a “date” like interjecting your preferences over the others. Because when you really think about it, when you were dating your spouse the best smiles and date nights were when you would plan something for them.

Healthy Competition

I am talking a game of tag on the baseball field when you were a kid. Do you remember those days? There is always an element of friendly teasing in competition, and as we grow up this becomes a bit more flirtatious. Nothing like a game of tennis can have us laughing together and enjoying each other’s company. So, whip out that basketball, go for a run, just do something that challenges each other and keep it light!

A New Adventure

Do you remember that time you went rock climbing, or your first adventure in the mountains? Scary, exhilarating, a memory you will never forget. In marriage, we often tend to do the exact opposite of adventure — we stick to what is comfortable. Adventure creates bonds and memories, no matter if it was the best thing in the world (a new art museum) or the worst (skydiving). Not to mention, you will probably have a pretty great story to tell friends at your next dinner party.

Good, Old Fashion Date

I think we all get the picture on this one. Put the laptops, tablets, phone, etc. out of the way and spend an evening focused on your spouse. If you like fancy dinners, go to a fancy dinner. Movies, miniature golf, whatever, go do that. But, the bottom line is the evening needs to be dedicated to connecting with your spouse and enjoying their company.

It is just too easy with technology and the lifestyles we live to miss these opportunities to push the reset button and reestablish what is most important to keeping the marriage alive — your love for one another.

So, next Friday night when you are ready to spend the evening doing exactly what you did the night before, take a moment to find a way to date your spouse and bring the love back around.


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